This Is Weird

I have a few days left as a practicing lawyer, and it’s weird. That’s the most accurate description of how I feel.

The end of August was the deadline I set with my boss to leave my legal job. I’ve had time to plan and prepare for the moment I’d wake up and not have to jump out of bed to rush out the door to a legal brief that needed to be written or a meeting that needed to be attended. I had been looking forward to dedicating myself to my craft full-time and thought I’d be ecstatic and relieved. And I am . . . most of time.

When I first thought about leaving the law and becoming a chocolatier a few years ago, I had thoughts – probably every couple of days – when I said to myself – WTF? Are you crazy? You’re going to give up a career that you have given so much to and that has given you so much for a lot of uncertainty, for a path that requires you to figure it out, and for being vulnerable by sharing with strangers what you create. But the more I studied chocolate and worked with it (and ate it, of course!), the more this move fit.

At this point, my “freak out” moments are rare, and they are always the result of my thinking too far ahead and feeling overwhelmed about how much more I want to create and how fast I want to do it. I do understand that this adventure is akin to a 100-mile ultramarathon, not a sprint around the track.

This will all be weird. But the “weirdness” disappears when someone says “Damn, that’s good” or “Wow” after they’ve tasted something I’ve made.

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6 thoughts on “This Is Weird

  1. Sameena says:

    Oy-I went through this when I left practice 10 years ago. I remember being terrified but excited. I was good at practicing law but it i didn’t love it. A senior partner asked me I wouldn’t miss the rush of being a courtroom; um….No! A lot of people didn’t understand why I was leaving and criticized it. I think sometimes people feel the need to reject something to justify or rationalize to themselves why they’re not making those choices. So be it. My worst work day today is still better than my best day practicing or clerking. Can’t wait to taste your passion at work!

  2. chris says:

    Ha! This email is giving me flashbacks to 2011 when I quit my law firm job. I know how you are feeling.

    Just a few thoughts for you:

    1. The freak out moments never, ever go away. You are doing the hard thing and part of your brain won’t like that. I highly recommend reading Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art and all the Seth Godin you can get your hands on.

    2. Prepare yourself for the Dip. The dip occurs in every new adventure. At first, when you are working hard, you get immediate rewards and it is gratifying. As you continue to work at your new craft, the rewards temporarily decrease and you feel like quitting. Eventually the rewards pick up again and skyrocket. Check it out here: http://sethgodin.typepad.com/the_dip/

    That’s all I got for now. Knock em dead. Make your art. Ship. Make your art better. Ship again.

  3. Donna says:

    It will workout! Do not ever underestimate your dreams! Your dream has already become a reality, now live it out and enjoy every moment!

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